How ‘should’ someone feel their rage? And I do not mean an acceptable rage here, dear reader. I mean the rage that, if manifested physically, it would easily evaporate anything that got too close to it. Regardless of whether-or-not you ever identified such an anger in you, the heroes below will be delving in something similar. And who knows, maybe they will also discover that what they perceive to be a curse might actually be used for their own benefit, if utilized properly. The year is 603 in this piece, and our heroes are a part of a disorganized hunting group trying to get their bearings. Only their “hunting” was not for the purpose of eating their prey eventually, but for something else. Enjoy reading this one, dear reader.

Survivor’s Guilt, Washing Away?

“This was supposed to be an easy job, that is what you said! Yet when I look around now, I see a pitiful bunch of losers; caught with their tails between their legs.”

The one who spoke was a woman in her mid-20’s. It was impossible to tell from a distance though, as her entire face and defining features were covered in dust-protective clothing, a thick keffiyeh was wrapped around her face. She and a dozen of her tribesmen were somewhere in Najd and on the move. A few hours ago, they have clashed with another similarly-armed group with more-or-less the same numbers as them. But their opponents had a huge advantage over them, because they knew they were coming. Now this whole group was praying to whatever deity they could think of, because the common feeling was that their fates were up to heavens above and nothing below.

“An easy work in comparison! That is what I remember telling you. And it was easy enough when we started. Even a domesticated boar can easily kill a man if he is not careful… You should still feel lucky if you ask me. Lucky to be a part of our group, our tribe. More and more tribes, sometimes even whole clans ban women altogether from participating in their important activities. Such are the times we are living in, but we must really push forward now otherwise we won’t be making it to the next oasis with our current numbers.”

This was a man responding to the woman who spoke earlier, and he was much older than her. Despite his superiority in both age and experience, he has been under the woman’s command until a few hours ago. Until a humiliating defeat they suffered. It was when their loss was imminent that this man pulled his rank and gathered surviving members of the group and lead them back into the desert they came from. This was because their hunting party was initially to be the woman’s maiden voyage, and it was their tribe’s tradition that a female was to be given command under the supervision of an experienced tribesman. At least, in their first real encounters. Banu Numayr believed in this practice because they wanted their women to be confident and self-reliant fighters; at least in-no-way different than their men.

“Look, I did everything according to tradition. I scouted the area, I made sure there won’t be any guards around. Everything was going smoothly until it didn’t. And now you tell me ‘Aam, how was I supposed to conjure a victory from an ambush like we suffered?!”

“You weren’t. You couldn’t. I don’t think any one of us here could. They got us, plain and simple. Now give me a hand with this camel leash so I can check once more on the injured.”

The woman hastily grabbed the leash but almost simultaneously noticed a dust cloud on their horizon. Squinting and popping her shoulders-and-neck, she wanted to call back for her uncle who was then trying to speak to a badly injured member of their group. She turned her head around and locked her eyes on the injured person her uncle was speaking to. This injured member was another man, though in no condition to be able to recognize himself as such. There was still a hilt of a broken dagger protruding from his abdomen, and she thought it would be a miracle for him to survive the journey they were on. Injured man’s responses to her uncle were sounding nothing more than cries of a person who was in immense pain. Not that he needed to speak fluently or understandably, as all the uncle was trying to do is to keep him awake and conscious. He seemed to be doing a good job at it, in her opinion. As the woman now looked to her front again, she noticed the dust cloud was looking more like dust clouds now and this meant that there were multiple riders heading their way.

As she kept pulling her camel steadily forward, and her other hand was heading to the scabbard of her sword; she then yelled back:

“‘Aam! Come here and take a look, I think we might have some trouble.”

The older man was unmoved, and was now whispering something into the ears of the injured man he was just checking upon. He raised his right hand to the woman leading their party, as to ask her to wait. This angered the woman because she was the one who was leading the group once more, as the leash was in her hands. And when a leader says something, anything, in the tribe of Banu Numayr; it was to be obeyed. This is what their tradition was demanding. Now frustrated, she called again but in a more agitated-tone:

“I am asking you to come take a look, but you are still doing whatever it is you are doing to that poor man. Now leave him alone and…”

Her uncle cast her his piercing looks, as his stare was probably as famous as him to everyone that has ever known or heard about him. He slowly stood upright and walked up to the woman who was now looking as if she was stunned. He grabbed the leash from her hand and gave her a nudge on the back, as she has also stopped walking since he looked deeply into her eyes. When the woman finally shook her head and started walking, he spoke:

“I was hoping you wouldn’t yell at me, but all is forgiven now. And yes, I also see the dust clouds in the horizon but no; we are not in trouble. At least, not any more than we are currently in. They are our people, I sent a member of our group ahead to come in contact with our tribe before we moved out. You were too busy to notice, and probably assumed we lost him too. And I now stand confirmed.”

“I… I am really sorry ‘Aam, I was really just…” The woman was feeling even more dazed than before. A few moments passed like this, and then her uncle took initiative to talk again:

“I said it is all forgiven. I asked for more beasts to carry our injured better, and for supplies. When the ambush began, I feared the worst and sent someone back immediately before I did anything else. It is something that my experience told me to do. And you shouldn’t worry either, as I’m sure you will make a fine and experienced leader one day. You did good, given your circumstances.”

“Thank you, I feel much better now. But as you said, we were ambushed. I still don’t know how, but this time the hunter became the hunted I’m afraid.

“Precisely! This is also in the nature of the business we are in. OUR family business, and our tribe is known far-and-wide in its ability to stick together. And I don’t think you need details now as to what I think about what we experienced. Now take the leash once more from my hand and prepare to stop the group. We are almost within hailing-distance, and I think I should do the talking on this one while you lead.”

“Sure. You just are the best ‘Aam to exist but you are too humble to admit it. Aren’t you? Either that, or you just cast a calming spell on me.”

The old man was now standing ready to greet the group of riders in front of them. But he whispered something that only his companion next to him could hear:

“Whatever would make you feel better… Now let’s move on, please.”

Rage, as an Insidious Feeling

So, where was the rage do you think was hiding in the piece above; dear reader? In my experience, feelings like anger and rage make great bedfellows with their kin, disappointment and consolation. But then, what does this mean for Banu Numayr and the heroes above? They will surely find their ways back to their tribe, to their clan in deep Najd. The group who ambushed them did not care to follow them, and our heroes will eventually come to the conclusion that it must have been just their jobs to protect their target, nothing more. May a truly definitive conclusion be far away, once more.