It is strikingly queer that for the job that I had to put the most amount of physical effort in was also the job that I was making the least amount of money. On top of that, the level of general appreciation was also the absolute lowest. Queer that, another grim jest of the social life was the work that I *needed* to use performance enhancing drugs just to meet the quota was also when I found myself at the arse-end of the social hierarchy.

Then came the leading roles: Leading groups of up to 25 people in the physically demanding role that I previously occupied. Understandably. I wanted to prevent applying unnecessary pressure on those people. I even absorbed pressure from the upper management to make it as easy as possible for the folk that are otherwise not having it easy in their lives at all. It would have broken my heart greatly if someone ‘had to’ drug themselves under my command. And the result of this approach was great admiration, at least for a while. After all, there is great wisdom in (at the very least) sharing the same communal area with one’s subordinates. Cringey, I know. But it is mind-numbing to fathom how megalomaniac people with low-grade souls can become, especially when they are adorned with a semblance of authority. And Gods know there is no shortage of such people.

As time went on in this leading position, I discovered how little patience I have with genuine bullsh-t. Not all bullsh-t mid you, only the military grade rampant version that serves absolutely no purpose other than to the whims of jerk offs in ‘superior’ positions. First, I named my mounting concerns through normal channels but you can guess how that turned out. Then I went out of the well-beaten path to dodge some of those BS. This began to anger the upper management, and after a while, my immediate superior came forth with a peace(!) offering: Keep the BS as it is, and in turn I could get to play God. Playing God in the sense of having a carte blanche to boost my salary indirectly. But more shockingly, make en employee’s hours vanish when there is ‘need’ to do so. Yes: “Most of these people won’t even notice, and even if they do; it would take a few good months before we ‘correct’ it. Either way you’d be f-cking them up if they don’t listen to you. Wouldn’t you like such a power?” Exact words of the person, nay, waste-of-skin I was expected to call my boss. Oh yeah, and also that he trusted me that I’d make the wise decision, and go on about with my privileges. Well, my ‘good senses’ must have been on holiday around those times of the year.

I tried playing it political, meaning asked for some time to think. But I knew I was then a liability now, and that they’d ditch me the first chance they get. There was also an element of criminality in their dynamics. Human trafficking and firearms smuggling type of criminality. Nevertheless, I stuck my neck out even further to prevent as much BS as possible, while preparing to file reports of their activities. I shan’t digress any further now though.

My miscalculations and a few (untimely exposed) vices later, they had no issues with cutting me loose after a short while. This was not a problem for me, as I was expecting it. Problem was NOBODY, and by this I mean ABSOLUTELY NOBODY was able to swallow their comforts up and say/do anything in response. Even the ones that I fought for the hardest, the ones that I kept away from suffering terrible injustices, the one I held dearest… Some crocodile tears and a lot of shark smiles, that was it. I found out later on that even the ones I thought I knew for the longest amount of time were on board with the conspiracy against me. In any case, this concluded my employment where I had the most mental burden to carry.

Something very similar happened with my next employment, though a lot more straightforward. And in this sense, more honorable. “Crying out loud too much for someone in my salary-range” was my cardinal sin. I nevertheless shed some tears in the face of their cooked-up excuse to lay me off. At least I didn’t expect anybody to say/do anything this time. Which they did not.

So, What am I saying exactly?

It is now safe to say that I have a problem with authority. Not order mind you, most people don’t seem the notice the difference. And my patience for unnecessary breaches of autonomy is nigh abysmal. I guess this makes me a trash employee, but I know I am a good worker. I now know these, and knowing helped me immensely in terms of my own well being.

But how do these experiences connect with what I said in the beginning? Well, let’s just say that I found ways to exercise %90 less effort while earning almost the same amount as I did in my previous positions. And judging from secondary and tertiary experiences, I can safely assume that the ones making the most money in most job markets do barely any real work, if they do any at all.

Worst of all is that it is the ‘common wisdom’ to avoid being me in these stories. Over thousands of people I know and heard of (in real life, online or even fictional; if we ignore the moral stories), there is only ONE other example where someone behaved the way I did under similar real life circumstances. And it was my mother, dear reader.

So if I may finish this with a bit of justified vulgarity: FUCK WHAT IS COMMON! And people expect me to feel upset for our possible extinction. We don’t even know how to get along with each other, whether in small or nationwide levels. This makes the whole altruistic and good-for-all debates redundant to say the least. We’ll be facing what is well deserved one way or another, and I couldn’t even care less.